Monday, June 21, 2010

True Blood 3.2: It Makes Me Feel Disturbingly Human

Oh, boy! Snoop Dogg sure loves Sookie Stackhouse. He loves her so much that he even made a rap about her and it was actually good! Just kidding. It was seriously terrible, but it is terrible in the way that True Blood is terrible, which is to say I got a total kick out of watching it. The out-of-sync back-up dancers dressed as janky Merlotte’s waitresses? Too perfect.

But on to the show! It was another pretty busy episode for the folks of Bon Temps and beyond. As much as I give this show a hard time, I will say that they know how to move things along and this episode was no exception.

The show opens with Bill Compton, postured for battle and bloody-mouthed. Having been surrounded by some angry wolves at the end of the last episode, we see that Ol’ Bill has done fairly well for himself—the wolves are all either dead or dying and—GASP—they’re turning back into people. So Bill wins the fight, but his adventure is far from over as he is intercepted by Russell Edgerton, King of Mississippi. Yes, it looks like each state is its own little vampire kingdom with its own set of vampire politics. These vampire waters sure do run deep. Russell has no intention of letting Bill return to his tear-streaked banjo-strummin’ Sookie. See, he was the one who organized Bill’s kidnapping to begin with and he plans to keep him locked up in the elephant from Moulin Rouge—at least until Bill agrees to help him marry the queen of Louisiana and consolidate power. Over the longest dinner ever, Russell reveals that Bill’s relationship with the queen might be stronger than previously thought. Not only that, but he also implies that Bill might be dating Sookie only because the Queen ordered him to.

Bill isn’t the only fish out of water. Sam is in Arkansas to find his birthparents and learn more about his shifter origins. He finds them fairly quickly, thanks to evoking the powers of this mysterious tome known as the white pages, only to discover that they are trash with a capital T and not in that charming Bon Temp way. No, Sam’s folks are the kind of trash that gets knocked up at 16, serves time in the clink, and have names like Joe Lee. At first, Sam is all “what the fuck” because he feels abandoned and angry. Having been given up as a baby, there was no one around to warn him that his puberty would be more extreme than the other boys. His anger fades a bit and is replaced by the relief of being surrounded, for the first time in his life, by people like him. Less happy is his younger brother Tommy, who is jealous that Sam was able to grow up away from this mess of a family. As much as Sam feels like he missed out, it appears that Tommy missed out even more.

Back in Bon Temps, Sookie continues her hunt for Bill and the meaning of Operation Werewolf. Dragging along Jessica (who is still preoccupied with the corpse in her basement), she heads to Fangtasia to seek the advice of Eric. Eric tells her that he has never heard of it, which is clearly a lie. Seriously, dude has been alive for a thousand years—you’d think that would be more than enough time to develop a decent poker face, but no. So he tells Sookie nothing, causing her sob and slobber all over the bar table. Her open display of emotion makes Eric uncomfortable—he’s starting to develop some real feelings for our dim bar maid and he doesn’t want to see her sufferin’. Meanwhile, in the ladies room, Jessica is seeking Pam’s advice on the disposal of a body. Remember last week when I said that Jessica needs a mentor? Well, Pam, dressed like a fabulous Las Vegas housewife, fits the bill perfectly because she is the fucking best. Once Sookie and Jessica scramble back to their respective homes, Eric is forced to revisit his poorly hidden Operation Werewolf memories. This results in a flashback to 1940’s Germany where Eric was, guess what, a vampire Nazi! Well, not really—he claims that he and his maker Godric were only posing as S.S. to investigate some secret werewolf society, which seems kind of weak—it would have been pretty ballsy of the show’s writers to prove just how evil Eric has been—but I understand why they didn’t, especially seeing as he’ll probably become the romantic lead at some point. Anyway, in his Nazi flashback, Nazi Eric discovers that Operation Werewolf is, in fact, led by vampires (WHAAAT?—wait, that’s actually not that exciting). Back in present time, Eric (having traded his S.S. uniform for a t-shirt because, duh, vampires love artsy silk-screened v-necks) decides to head over to Sookie’s house to tell her the truth about werewolves and hopefully be invited in for some primal sexin’. He says as much and Sookie says no, but you can tell that there is some part of her that’s really like “OH YEAH.” She ends up inviting him in, not for sex, but because there is a werewolf hit man inside (of course there is). It shouldn’t be that big of a deal because werewolves don’t seem that strong. I mean, Bill managed to dispatch about 5 of them without getting a drop of blood in his man bangs, so Eric, a former Viking warrior, should have no trouble with just one. Regardless, they act like this is a big fucking deal. I guess we’ll find out next week just how big of a deal it is. On a related note, a friend texted me the other day about how Alexander Skarsgard seems to have lost some weight and it has somehow made him less attractive. At first, I said, “You crazy for this one, friend,” but, after last night’s episode, I think that she might be right? Like maybe he was way hotter last season? I don’t know—I’M SO CONFUSED.

Lafayette saves Tara from overdosing on pills (UGH), but Tara is still sad and unstable (over what, I don’t know because Eggs was pretty much the blandest). Since all True Blood needs is MORE characters to keep track of, Lafayette decides to take Tara to see his mother (played by Alfre Woodard) in a mental care facility with the hopes of scaring his cousin into staying alive and sane. The idea that Tara had never once inquired as to the whereabouts of Lafayette’s mom is a little shaky, but, then again, she is an extremely self-centered individual. His plan appears to work—Tara won’t be trying to kill herself again, at least not in this episode. In other Tara/Lafayette news, new love interests were introduced for both of them. For Tara, it’s the new vampire in town. He’s bad news, dressed in skinny jeans and roach-killers, and has a mysterious ax to grind when it comes to Bill and Sookie. Still, he’s pretty sexy and British and perfect for Tara—instead of hurting herself, she’ll get someone else to do it for her. As for Lafayette, it looks like he’ll be getting filled with the love of Jesus after all, Jesus being the bedroom-eyed orderly who tends after his mother in the mental institution.

A lot more happened in this episode, I suppose. Arlene is pregnant with Terry Bellefleur’s PTSD babies, but won’t tell him. Jason helps Andy with a drug bust and meets some mysterious lady. The new bad Brit vampire breaks into Bill Compton’s library catalog room (riiiiiight) and finds some files that might confirm that he’s dating Sookie on assignment. He also probably takes the body of Jessica’s victim, giving her something new to freak out about. Bill runs into his maker Lorena and starts her on fire. Oh, and Jason thinks that Santa might be real.

Till next week!

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I'm glad you're starting the see the sad skinny truth about our man, A. Skars. I think Bosworth and skeletal ways might be glamouring him.