Stop whatever it is you're doing. Seriously. Just stop. This is important.
I'd like to introduce you to my new friend Jeremy, father of pop sensation Justin Bieber.
Now, I don't care so much about the Biebs because I am a 23 year-old lady with a life. Does that mean I judge the young girls who feel differently? Of course not. Tweens like shitty things. When I was that age, I loved Hanson and The Spice Girls (still do. Eat it, h8rz) and today's girls love Justin Bieber and yak baks (right?). I'm not judging. Except, in this case, I'm totally judging. But I'm judging something else:
This man is a father! Of a human being! A real human child who is a millionaire thanks to a pristine bowl cut and asexual singing voice!
Remember when Justin Bieber first hit the scene and there was all that press surrounding his swagger coach? (Feel free to barrow my Bieber scrapbook if you need your memories refreshed.) That swagger coach was totally unnecessary! Swagger is clearly in his genes! HIS GENES! When I look at the above photo all I can think is TOO MUCH SWAGGER. SWAGGER BOMB ACTIVATED. BANG BOOM BOW.